Goodbye, Bailey

Yesterday i lost a whole part of me when we had to put bailey down. It’s very raw. I can’t believe he’s gone and that I won’t be able to cuddle him one last time. the pain I feel is indescribable, my heart physically hurt yesterday and will forever be broken with him not being here. He was my little best friend.

Bailey was born with a heart murmur which ultimately led to heart disease which we had been treating but it just got too much for him and he went downhill fast, we just didn’t want him to suffer anymore. It was the hardest decision to make to let him go and I never ever want to go through that pain ever again. the pain was unbearable, giving him one last kiss while he was being put to sleep broke me which I keep replaying in my mind.

I remember when we first went to a rescue place called caars which is down the road from where we live to take some old toys from our other cat harley that we’d lost a couple of months before and even though it was hard to give those away it was even harder seeing the kittens in their little cages with nothing. I walked along looking at each cat, wanting to take every single one of them home with me until I found Bailey, as soon as i kneeled down he came running and that was it, i was in love. The way he looked at me was the most adorable, i couldn’t stop staring at his cute little face and white socks, he was the absolute sweetest.

We only had you for 9 years but you filled them with so much joy. 2014 was such hard year for me personally and bailey literally saved me, he saved me when I was at my lowest point in my life, I was literally fighting for my life and he was by my side for it all. every time I was at the hospital he’d be meowing in my room for me and greeted me every time with nose kisses and cuddles. We had daytime naps together, he was always there when I was feeling down. It’s weird how cats know exactly when you need those extra cuddles.

I remember buying him a cats meow for his first Christmas and he absoluelty loved it even though he loved the box it came in even more, he was obsessed with boxes and paper bags, lying in and on top of them. He thought every visitor we had at the door was for him and of course they were, he was the cutest thing and meowed to say hello every time even though most of them didn’t have any treats.

I talked to him constantly and I felt like he knew exactly what I was saying even though I knew he didn’t have a clue, it was just our little secret code. We watched the birds in the back garden together, we sat and watched our favourite Netflix shows together, we napped together. He was there for me when no-one else was sometimes.

Home doesn’t feel like home without you & the pain of loosing you will never get easier. I love you forever & always, sleep well my little boy.

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